Chi Chi Well Think Again You Bimbo
This is an article I wrote for a Singaporean newspaper called The New Paper (yes, I know…) 11 years ago, before long after I arrived in London. In light of my 11th anniversary blogpost, I'chiliad rehashing this article, published on fourteen January 2001.
The few of you who are asking where the Triple Nine-cum-Speak Mandarin Campaign girl has been this final year. I'm back. All right, perchance not physically, just in literary spirit I am dorsum to enliven my fellow countrymen of my discoveries in Europe. Mainly, the cocky discovery of the Singaporean bimbo.
Rumours that Chong Chia Suan had gone to London after her filming in Prague to 'discover new showbiz opportunities' were floating around. Fact is, upon realising the tip of my bimbo-quotient iceberg, I decided to stay on in Europe to uncover the balance of it.
It began in Prague when I mistook 1 of the assistant directors to exist American when he clearly had a British accent. The truth was, no matter how I had pretended to be Ms-Know-All in the past, I really couldn't distinguish accents very well. After all, this is the same daughter who had to read the subtitles to Trainspotting to understand what the movie was all almost.
A stuntman who saw that I did not know anything about Europe at all suggested that I go to London, it being the center of the arts and everything, to larn a few things. My lesson began almost immediately every bit I crossed the channel from France to London past rail. My mind was instantly fogged with bimbo-ish ideas of french republic being on the other side of Europe from London. Voila! They were really correct next to each other. But, hang on a 2nd, weren't they supposed to be two big and unlike countries with separate cultures and languages, united by the one similar want to beat each other at everything? Then, how could they exist neighbours?
Bimbotic revelations connected as I walked the streets of London, ecstatic that the places on my Monopoly board REALLY did exist. There I was, all by myself, in the middle of a busy street, jumping upward and downward, giggling uncontrollably and yelling to anyone who would mind, "Hey! Trafalgar Square! Piccadilly Circus! Bond Street and cheapo Old Kent Route!"
And I started to sob at the sight of those cerise toy buses and postboxes I used to play with, here, diddled-upward life-size, and moving for real.
At commencement, I thought I could become away with the alibi that being Singaporean, I lived a sheltered life and did not know quite as much almost the rest of the globe. My new Finnish flatmates soon caught on to the fact that my ill-knowledge of the world was incurable when I actually believed them when they told me that penguins were kept in residential backyards, and that polar bears were sold in pet shops in Republic of finland. They establish my stupidity quite funny at starting time, and repeatedly tried to convince me of ridiculous trivia which sounded perfectly plausible to me, starting with the high rates of deaths in Finland caused by men peeing out in the minus fifty cold to the number of Finnish people who lived in igloos.
I stood uncontested as the very personification of 'bimbo'. For a while. They before long tired of insistence that the capital of Switzerland was Stockholm, Kingdom of the netherlands was just another proper noun for Kingdom of denmark, Budapest was a Centre-Eastern urban center, and Netherlands used to be part of Russian federation.
Thankfully, the people of England seemed to non merely forgive, merely are deliriously obsessed with stupidity. Summit television programmes readily feature cerebrally-challenged people. Recollect Harry Enfield, the Monty Python Series, The Fast Testify, and those of y'all not familiar with any of the higher up, yous force me to mention – Mr Bean.
Compare this to the highly-rated programmes in Singapore which tend to feature more intelligent people like Mulder and Scully, Phua Chu Kang, the cast of Friends…er…well…never mind…
I must admit that following through with my bimbocity was rather fun and attending-grabbing at commencement, until it became really life-threatening. I openly told a Scotsman, who worked as a broiled beans taster for a major supermarket chain (this is truthful!) that Scotland was part of England! Along with my lucky stars, the man had a great sense of humour, probably owing to his job, and I was let off the hook. My fellow actors in class, upon hearing virtually the incident, marvelled at how I survived it without landing in infirmary.
At present yous know why I cannot render to Singapore until I succeed in becoming remotely intelligent, or my trip would accept been for nothing. Meanwhile, I am still trying to figure out if my flatmates were teasing when they said that salami was fabricated from horsemeat.
Source: https://chiasuanchong.com/2011/07/06/a-singaporean-bimbo-in-london-a-newspaper-article-i-wrote-in-2000/
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